


the words only I can say, I hope they reach you

by maarsh



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Actual Detective Kurusu Akira, Actual Thief Akechi Goro, Alternate Universe- No Powers, Day 3, Day 4, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, ShuAke Confidant Week, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 04:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16485647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maarsh/pseuds/maarsh
Summary: “Youare…a persistent one.”“I take words like that as compliments, so thank you. How are you feeling?”“Mm, head hurts, but I’m fine.”“Are you now, can you sit up for me then?” If his eyes were open, Kurusu would probably be grinning, goading him.It works because he makes a show (read: mistake) of sitting up abruptly and—nope, that’s- that just made it worse; so he accepts defeat and falls back into the pillows with a groan.





	the words only I can say, I hope they reach you

**Author's Note:**

> ShuAke Confidant Week Day/s 3 & 4: Neglect and Trust
> 
> AIGHT SO THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE OTL ~~i'm so bad at writing actual feelings~~  
>  it was really hard for me to write something with even a lick of angst. i had like, a bunch of docs for day 3's fill and decided to go with this one but i'm still not sure if i was able to actually write this properly oof.

Goro remembers a time before Niijima-san took him in. When he was still drifting from foster home to foster home, being on his best behavior so they’ll _like_ him, _feed_ him, _give him a roof to sleep under_ , making himself as little a burden as possible so that they’ll _keep him around_.

The prospect of somebody _wanting him_ around was so foreign to him back then, he was so convinced that nobody would ever want a child that apparently drove their mother to suicide.

He remembers the first time he’d gone to school despite the chill in his bones, despite how every step made the world spin. He convinced himself that it’d go away if he drank some water and went outside, he’d be alright once he got some sunlight; that was good for children right? Tried to tell himself that the Tachihara’s are having trouble with money and they won’t have to bother with medicine if he gets better on his own.

He barely made it to school when he passed out on the sidewalk. Tachihara-san excused himself from work after getting news that he’d been taken to the nearest hospital because he’d contracted a nasty virus.

Once he was released, the one waiting for him at the Tachihara household was another man in a suit and his bags.

He then thought selfishly to himself, that they should have just left him in that sterile hospital room with white ceilings to _rot_. The Tachihara’s were probably the last, most decent family he’d been with.

-

It was fortunate enough that he happened to be meeting with the older teen earlier that afternoon after school. Akira didn’t have to be a prodigy detective to notice the pallor on his face and how he seemed to be heaving with every breath.

When he asked if he wasn’t feeling well, all he got was a weak “I’m fine.” and a request if they could talk sitting down instead. Akira does sit him down on an unoccupied bench but immediately starts fussing over him.

“I said I’m fine, Kurusu. I’m just winded from running here.”

“You look anything but fine _or_ winded! You should’ve just told me if you were feeling this sick. You’re burning up!” Goro seemed to shrink into himself at Akira’s fussing. Almost like-

“It’s nothing I can’t handle…” He looks away once he sees Akira’s unimpressed stare. The action reminds him of Futaba during their early conversations. Like he wants to hide away and tuck himself into some corner as the world goes on.

“I’ll believe that once you don’t look like the wind could knock you over. Where’s your apartment? I’ll help you get home.” He asks gently. Which works, sounding less frantic seems to have made him relax a little.

“…Too far, but…”

“’ _But_ ’ what?”

“Sae and Makoto’s apartment is closer, I have a key and my old room is there…”

“That’s great! What’s the address and I’ll just get us a cab.”

And that’s how Akira finds himself stumbling into the Niijima sister’s apartment while carrying Goro, who had fallen asleep during the ride. Finding the room without either Makoto or Sae’s names and laying Goro on the bed.

It’s all a blur from there, since Akira gets to work on breaking his fever. He’d already sent a quick text to Sae and Makoto on the way here to let them know what had happened. Both replied with concern, promising to come home as soon as they could. Sae had let the front desk know that he’d be coming with Goro in tow. Makoto had let him know where the food and medicines were kept, he was also grateful for the trust in lending him their kitchen even if it was just to make something like soup.

He’ll have to check up on Goro after this.

-

Goro wakes up to the feeling of something cool being placed on his forehead. Eyes blearily open to Akira’s blurry figure standing over him.  
He almost wants to roll his eyes at the smile that appears on the other’s face, Akira was always one to overreact. He quickly squeezes his eyes shut, the onslaught of the headache was too much for him right now.

“ _You_ are…a persistent one.”

“I take words like that as compliments, so thank you. How are you feeling?”

“Mm, head hurts, but I’m fine.”

“Are you now, can you sit up for me then?” If his eyes were open, Kurusu would probably be grinning, goading him.

It works because he makes a show (read: _mistake_ ) of sitting up abruptly and— _nope, that’s- that just made it worse_ ; so he accepts defeat and falls back into the pillows with a groan. Opening his eyes, if only to glare at Akira for that sly trick

“Uh-huh, that’s what I thought. Try it again, slowly this time. You need to eat while this is still hot.” Akira vaguely gestures at the tray with a bowl of soup on it.

Goro gives Akira a long stare, then slowly tries to sit up. The occasional throb is still there, but it’s not as painful as it was before.

“You went through an awful lot of trouble, I thought you were just going to drop me off here.” Akira looks miffed at the concept of just leaving Goro to fend off this fever by himself.

“I’m not going to just leave you without making sure you’ll be okay. I mean, who even does that?”

_You’d be surprised_ , he almost says, biting the inside of his cheek. If Akira notices, he was wise to not continue.

“So uh, can you manage to eat this by yourself?”

“Oh, you’re asking? I thought you were going to feed it to me.”

“ ** _I mean_** _,_ if you want to-” Akira starts, eagerly lifting a spoon.

“ _No_. Give me the tray.” He pouts at getting shut down so easily again, but relents and carefully places the tray so Goro can eat.

He also seems to notice that Goro isn’t in a conversational mood, and manages to fill the silence by reading Sae and Makoto’s messages to him since they arrived here. All worried and asking if he’s doing alright. That does manage to make him smile, if even a little.

When he’s finished, he hands Goro the medicine Sae told him to give along with a glass of water.

“I read the label and it says you’ll be falling asleep again. Take it easy okay? I’ll be here until you wake up again.”

-

Goro’s eyes open to a run-down ceiling, and warily sits up.

_This…this isn’t my room_.

Sae would have a fit if she let either of them live in a place like this. Fever forgotten, he finds he’s somewhat able to walk now, so he takes the opportunity to look around. He walks out of the room to an even messier sight; hallway littered with newspapers and plastic bags of trash. Definitely not either of their apartments.

_Then where…?_

His question is answered by a resounding ‘ **SMACK!** ’ up ahead.

“You useless woman! Do you have any idea how much that cost us?” The gruff, angry voice has him peer through the corner. Eyes going wide at who he found, immediately reeling back, not wanting to be seen.

The yelling continues, from the woman this time, but all Goro can hear is his own panic seized thoughts and his rapid heartbeat in his ears.

_No, no, no. I remember exactly how this night went. I-I should…_

Hide. Run away. Jump out the window. Anything but make his presence known to the people inside that room, but when he takes a step back towards the room the scene suddenly shifts, leaving him disoriented.

His arms are held out instinctively, trying to be some line of defense between whoever was in front of him and his head waiting for the blow to come.

It doesn’t, instead he feels a hand on his shoulder pulling him back _and—_

Goro Akechi wakes up screaming.

 

-

This time, he wakes up, less peacefully, to Akira’s worried face. It’s in a few moments that Goro notices how wet his face is with tears and he’s clutching Akira’s shirt with one of his hands so tightly. His shoulders are still shaking

“Hey, hey…” Akira continues to rub soothing circles on his back as he quivers with fear, he feels pathetic. He shouldn’t be making this much of a fool of himself, especially not in front of him.

“G-get off, I…”

The hand on his back stops moving, but it’s not less comforting.

“Hey, um. Can you- do you want to drink something?” Akira offers, smile a little softer. He nods, finally letting go of the grip he has on the other’s shirt so the other can get a new glass of water from the kitchen. Goro’s eyes roam around the walls of the empty room, suddenly feeling uneasy.

“I’ll go with you, I don’t think I want to stay in this room right now.” He admits weakly, but Akira doesn’t seem to think much of it.

“Alright, we can watch something on TV if you’re bored.” He agrees easily enough. When they step out of the room Goro makes note of the clean hallway. Their soft footsteps as they make their way to the living room. Akira, to the kitchen to refill the glass Goro drank from.

“Oh, it’s 6. They’re doing reruns of last week’s Featherman Episode.”

Goro glances to the clock on the wall and true enough, it’s almost 6.

“…Bold of you to assume I want to watch Red Hawk and Black Condor pretend that they can’t see the shoujo sparkles appearing whenever they talk.” He pipes up from the couch, holding one of the pillows to his chest.

“I’m a detective, I don’t assume. I deduce.” Goro turns his head to look at him, unconvinced. “Okay, _I_ want to watch last week’s Featherman. Happy?”

“Mm, just get over here and turn on the TV already.” His lip quirks upward as Akira rolls his eyes and brings him the glass. Plopping onto the space beside him and turns on the TV, just in time too, as the opening starts to play.

Maybe someday, he’ll tell Akira all about what happened. All about what he went through in foster care before he was found by Niijima-san. Even as he’s trembling in fear of how Akira might see him then, but right now…

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

_For bringing me here, for not leaving me alone, for staying even after that pathetic display-_

“For a lot of things, really. Naming every single one might only serve to stroke your ego.”

“Wow, _how_ do you make insults sound like compliments.”

“Trade secret. Now shut up, the episode’s starting.” The sound of Red’s summary of the previous episode ends their conversation abruptly. It’s during one of the fight scenes that Akira pipes up, eyes not leaving the screen.

“Hey, Goro.”

“Hm?” Goro turns his gaze away from the rangers’ all-out-attack with a raised brow, not commenting on the sudden use of his given name.

“You’re welcome, by the way. I’d do it all again if I have to.”

“Ha. Likewise, K—Akira.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this turned out as good as i hoped!
> 
> come yell at me for not uploading on time [ @m_aarsh ](https://twitter.com/m_aarsh) on twitter!


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